Author: Miss Mary

first of all, i would like to say “happy anniversary” to my beautiful husband, christopher…
thank you for being here for me these past 9 years… i do not know what i would have done without you so many times… i love you very much…

well, this is going to be a sentimental post as well as a documentation of our years together…

the beginning…

november 6, 1995…
we met back in southern california (hermosa beach to be, exact)… my best friend, jade, and his best friend, michael, were together, so it was just a matter of time that we would have met anyway… but that night was the fateful one and i look fondly upon it to this day…

i can remember it just like it was yesterday… i was a nervous wreck… i had been told so many things about him and i was not even sure that i wanted to go over there that night… i was and still am very happy that i did…

i was into the goth thing at the time, so i looked very different than i do now… i had short dark hair, always wore black and was almost always wearing make-up… he had purple hair and back then that was the end all be all thing for me… i loved guys with colored hair…

one thing that i do not think about much was that i was kinda dating someone at the time (long since forgotten)… he was nothing special or important so i did not see any harm in going over to meet this zane ( zane is his professional name)… he sounded just like a cool guy and i did not think more about it at the time… by the time i left my life as i knew it would be changed forever…

he affected me that much… i am not one to say that i believe in love at first sight or anything but i do not really have any other way of thinking about it… this really was just that…

as jade and i walked into this apartment (right on the ocean, already a plus in my book) there he was just sitting off in a corner…

he was slowly rotating a stack of crystal balls in his hand…
the movement was so fluid and beautiful, they looked as if they were spinning by themselves and he was just sitting there holding them…
the light of the candles (the only light in the room) was refracting and reflecting off of them was hypnotic… this was something that i had never seen someone do before…

he had shoulder length hair and it seemed to just cascade down one side like a waterfall… it was amazing and the crystal balls did not hurt either… 🙂

he was and still is beautiful… one of my favorite people to just look at…
he has those amazing eyes and huge comforting hands that just make you feel like they will be there to hold you when you need them… and they have been there for me on countless occasions…

so, on with the story…
he was sitting off in the corner and we sat on the couch on the opposite wall… i just could not take my eyes off of him the entire time we were there… he mesmerized me…
i do not fully recall the events of that night but i can say that (because i still have my old journals from when i was young) that i went home and wrote in my journal that:

‘tonight i met my future husband…’

you would think that a girl writes those kinds of things all the time, but as i looked back in them, i had not once… this was something different and i knew it from that moment… and here we are today 9 years later…

and yes, we are married and have been since june of 1996…

i was a young girl that still lived at home and knew almost nothing (not that much has changed a whole lot, but i am learning to be more of a wife all the time)… i was pretty spoiled i would say and think that i had things way too easy… he had been on his own for quite some time already and i think that i felt a little intimidated at times… i did not know anything but could look to him to get answers and this was another comforting thought…

so, as the night went on, we talked and hung out together and i felt all warm and fuzzy inside and had butterflies in my stomach…. he was so different…
he was confident and did not seem to care about what other people thought and this was such a nice change… and of course, the night had to come to an end at one point… he walked me out to my car and we said goodbye… he was so soft and warm and i felt safe… i knew that this was it and jade and i talked about it the entire drive back home…

i do not think i could have slept… all i could do was think of him… and i do not think he was off my mind for more than a few moments…
even my mom noticed that i was happier than she had seen me in a long time… he had changed me… and he continues to change me daily… he has made me a better person…

so, a few days passed and we talked and saw each other pretty much daily… we had hit it off wonderfully… we woud take walks down on the beach and drives around town… he is not originally from so cal like i am so i felt like i had to give him a tour of everywhere…
we spent a lot of time around the beach and talked so much… i was known for falling asleep on the phone with him late at night… he would just talk to me for hours… his voice was so soothing that i would fall asleep… it was peaceful and i love it…

november 16th…
then i decided one night that we all needed to go out to a club… i was one to go out to a club almost every night of the week… he is not the social butterfly that i was back then, but he went along because i wanted him to see what i did with so much of my time…
so, we headed out to the club… i think he did not know what to expect but had fun anyway…
i danced all night and he watched… i think i was trying to show off for him and i think we both enjoyed it… that was our first “official date”…

we talked and spent every moment that we had free with each other… it was magical…

we had talked about getting married but i know now that he did not think that i was as serious as i was and i do not think that i was either… but, here we are, still together and still very happy…

november 25th…
we went down to one of the little shops on the beach and picked up 2 five piece puzzle rings… this is the ring that i wear to this day… this is my wedding ring and i adore it… his has unfortunately broken and we have searched and searched for an exact duplicate and can not find one… grrr…
they are sterling silver and 5 pieces… they are very symbolic, just like so many other things with us, they have a deeper meaning…

we bought them and then walked back to his apartment… there were always a couple people there, so we gathered them around and exchanged rings…
amazing… i get all teary eyed just remembering all this…

early in january 1996…
he moved out of the apartment because his brother and now wife were moving to florida…
he had to make the decision to stay with his brother and move away or stay there in california to be with me… and he chose me… i guess everyone has to make a similar decision in their own lives but he and his brother had been through so much the last couple of years it was not any easy choice to make…

he stayed closer to me and i was still living at home with my parents… it was hard to go to work and school knowing that he was that much closer…
but, i managed somehow…

he moved a couple of times and finally settled right down the street from disneyland…

we saw each other more than ever those last few months before we got married… we grew closer and closer with each passing day it seemed… we grew together as a couple…

may 6th 1996…
i moved out of my parents house one month to the day before we got married… that was i think one of the hardest things that i have ever had to do…
i do not think that my parents every fully understood and do not think they ever will…

i had pretended like i was cleaning my room and packed some clothes and other personal items into some large trash bags and took them outside… i thiink they thought i was finally getting rid of some of the junk that had piled up, but that was not the case… i had planned on running away from home and this was the time i had chosen to do it… jade and i had talked about this before hand and my parents thought that we were going out for the night when she pulled up to see me… they had no idea… i grabbed the bags that i had taken down and threw them into her trunk and she drove me to his place… it was frightening… i was actually going to leave and not come back… i had made my decision… i called my mom that night and let her know that i was not coming home… she thought that i was not coming home that night, but something in her voice told me that she knew that i was going for good… she asked me when i was going to be back and i told her
that i did not know…
this was a flat out lie… i knew then that i was not coming home… i still feel bad about this to this day… i think that if i had been 100% honest with her then i would have a better relationship with them even now… (sorry mom)…

so, we lived together for a month and we finally had the time where i was out of school and had some vacation time from work… so, in june we headed to las vegas and got married…
you can read all about his post about marrying me on his blog…

november 6th 2004, today…
so, 9 years have now passed and we have lived
in 4 different states with multiple addresses… i love him now more than i think i did that first day, if that is possible… he is my very best friend and i can not imagine, or care much to, see myself without him… he is my husband and today i want him and anyone else that might happen to be reading this that i am happy that we are together and can not wait to see how the next 9 years go… happy 9 years together anniversary christopher, i love you and cherish you with all my heart and am so happy to be your wife… thank you for sharing your life with me…

well, i have been thinking about trying out a table top rpg for awhile now…

so, today i was running around town and popped into a shop and picked out
myself 7 die and a dice bag…
i had no idea of what i needed, so i talked to the gentleman that was working
there… he told me that i needed a 20, 12, 10, 8 ,6, and 4 sided die and if
i wanted could pick up one of the ones with 10-00… that is what i did… i
got one of each to start off with…

the 20 sided one is mainly blue with gold lettering but if you look very
closely it has some really pretty red swirls, giving it a rather purple color
in spots…
my 12 sided one is clear with colorful sparkles throughout it and shows its
best side with direct light…
my 10 sided is a light and dark grey swirl with gold lettering… on close
inspection it seems you can almost see through it…
my 8 sided one is very much like the 12 but it is purple rather than clear and
has white numbers…
the 6 sided one is pretty cool as well… it is black with white swirls,
making it grey in those spots… unfortunately it has yellow numbers as
well… i think i would have preferred to have white or silver numbers…
and lastly is the X10 one… it is exactly like the 10 but is blue rather
than purple…
and they all go into a black velvety bag with purple satin lining… i
thought this was perfect and had to have it…. i plan on getting another
one but i think this one is a good start…
here is a picture of my new dice…

now all i need to do is actually learn to play a game and find some people
that can help me get something going… all i have are the books and the dice
but still no character and do not know anyone here that might be able to help
me get in a game…

but, i think i am going to be heading online and see if i can find any local
players…
the guy at the store did mention that they have people that meet up there
every friday night… i unfortunately work in a bar/restaurant and taking a
friday night off means that unless i am scheduled off i am not going to lose
out on at least a $100 shift…

ahhhh, a bar…

sometimes i just love working with a place where there is a bar… tonight after work, we had our annual bar championships for our location… i did not realize that i was going to be a judge for this until i was about to head home for the night and my manager asked me to stick around to help be a judge for this… i abliged since it was an early night (we close at midnight on sunday rather than the normal 2am)… i was not going to at first but he needed one more person that had the knowledge and i just happened to be there at the time…
so, there i am sitting at our bar at work and watching as our bartenders are having to flip bottles around and make drinks to entertain the 5 of us that were there… (hey i am not going to complain, after a long night a drink or two is sometimes nice, and these are free)…
so, it lasted about an hour and a couple of drinks later i am home, nice and warm and feeling kinda nice… it was alot of fun and was not my first time doing this… i had been a judge for this once before and it was fun then as well…

as an aside, we had a nice bar when we lived in vegas and learned that we did not like most liquors and fell in love with scotch whisky (no e) and irish… it was tons of fun and we even had a nice margarita party once (great fun and thanks to a friend, fully funded)… it was a blast… but, now we are trying to keep our head about things and not going all out and have a small irish bar… we try to keep a couple of bottles around the house of irish spirits of various sorts… we have your stouts, whiskies, creams and even a bottle of irish mist… we have yet to get a bottle of celtic crossing but as soon as we come across one we are getting it… it is something that we enjoy and have learned that we like it in our espresso (non-irish but tastes yummy anyway)… so, now here i am at home looking over at our bar and thinking that i really need to put some more love into it… i think tomorrow is a day that i go out and get another addition to add… i think that tonight made me realize that it is as much fun to have as it is to enjoy…
(or maybe i am just babbling because i have had a few drinks) 🙂

since i have not posted anything here in a while i thought this would be kinda cool… i got this from one of the many yahoo groups that i am in…

and it is appropriate since i feel like i have more online friends than i do real-life friends…

————–

Online Friendship

Online friend I have never seen you before,
but I know you are really there.
I click you into reality, like magic in the air.
Your voice is like an angel, though I really do not hear.
Your hug as warm as any, of the loved ones I hold dear.
You are always there for comfort, or a word of cheer.
Though you are very far away, I always have you near.
You are a very special friend, like none I have ever known.
As long as you are in cyberspace, I will never be alone.

~Author unknown

—————

nothing much but i thought it had a nice sentiment… 🙂

well, i am finally getting to that cross-linked post about our trip… you can read all about it here and also at his blog post about the trip and the new pics update… he posted some new pics and all about his experience with his mom being in the hospital and the trip in general…

his mother was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks… the first time in almost 30 years… the last time she was in the hospital was when she had his younger brother…

but, i am not going to be posting about that here today…
i am going to be posting about our wonderful and amazing trip to white sands…
if you have never been there, all i can say is that if you get the chance to go, then GO!!!

i can not describe it in words… i think it is easier to quote a couple things that i thought while i was there…

—–
“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.”
Ricky Fitts from American Beauty

—–
“No – no words. No words to describe it. Poetry! They should’ve sent a poet. So beautiful. So beautiful… I had no idea.”
Ellie Arroway from Contact
—–

we took the dreameye with us but after we were there, we realized that we had almost filled it up… what a bummer…

but, here are a couple of pictures that we took…

i am almost always barefoot and he never goes without his shoes, so here is a shot of my foot and his boot…

it is very cool… you can even see the doc martens imprint from his boot… even though you are unable to see it in this photo, when i was walking around in some parts of the dunes, you could even see the little wrinkles from the underside of my feet… 🙂

it is one of the natural wonders of the world and even visable from space…

and of course, just like everyone that goes out there, you have to write in it… so, here we were writing in the sand…

and here are just a couple of pictures that we took while we were standing there in total amazement…

this first picture was taken from the dune that we were standing on… as you can see, there is nothing else for miles and miles around you… you are totally surrounded by a ring of mountains on every side and sheer glistening white everywhere else…

this picture was taken upon another dune that we were standing on and off in the distance you can see the mountain ranges a little better…

i really wished we had a better digital camera, because these pictures do not give it justice… everything looks so typical sand colored or blue…

while you are standing there, you realize that you are just a small speck in this vast whiteness, not like a white beach sand, this is so white it is blue…

you can see it for miles around and it shimmers like a diamond… it is gypsum…

and as the further you get in the less foliage there is… not a place that you want to get lost in… no sense of direction because everything is the same color…

i could not believe that the cost was only $3 per person… the gates close to enter at 7pm and we arrived at 6:45pm and left around 9:30pm… as we were leaving the rangers were driving around letting people know that the gates would be closing at 10pm and you were locked in for the night…
and for only $3 the passes were good for 6 days… and for a small fee of $20 a year you could get a pass to enter at anytime…
they have all kinds of nature walks and constellation tours and events…

at the front gates, there is also a sign that says “no refreshments available after this point”…

as we were driving in we saw people make snow angels in the sand…

also, as we were driving into the park, i was ready to run around… he let me know that this was just the beginning and it only got better… and boy, was he right…

we finally parked the car and started our night out with the nothingness…

we slowly climbed up one dune and then another… it was tough but the view was to die for…

as we were standing there he said to me:
“if you turn your head in just the right direction you do not hear anything, not even the wind…”

i could not believe the sheer vastness and silence…

and since it was close to the time of sunset, i made a voice note on my phone…

here is the transcription…
“during the sunset the sunrays are trickling down the mountains like waterfalls… it is beautiful… the dunes are purple… it is not white but rather blue white sand and there is nothing else to see for miles…”

the vast array of colors at sunset… you could see nothing but white dunes for miles and miles around you…

i do not think that i can say it enough… this is the most beautiful place in the world…

i also thought that if i was into cremation then i would want my ashes scattered here…

i also thought that it would be the most beautiful place to get married… since white is a symbol of purity, i think it would be even more appropriate…

but one of the coolest things that happened while we were there was this…

we were standing atop this huge sand dune and you could barely hear voices down behind us… we did not pay any attention because we were just there being in love…
we were just standing there and he had his arms around my waist and i was just leaning up against him… (one of my favorite places to be, in his arms)… 😉

but, as the voices got closer and closer we decided that we would turn around and look… we were surprised to notice there was this couple and they had a camera with them and were taking pictures of the landscape and the skies…
so, there we were… on top of this huge sand dune with the sun setting in front of us and we were mere silhouettes with these amazing surroundings…

so, when they finally had made it up the dunes, we decided that we had to talk to them…

they were a really sweet couple and said that they hated to ruin “our romantic moment”, but we felt they did not… they had captured our moment and we wanted to see if they would be willing to sell us that photo that they had taken of us while we were standing there…
they also mentioned that we had known the perfect place and we had to have been there before… but we had not… he had not been there since he was a kid and this was my first time… but, i do not think there IS a bad place here…

the gentleman spoke up and said that he had gotten it on video but not an actual photo…

that is ok… if he had the opportunity to send us just a clip then we would find a way to get it into picture format somehow…

it was perfect… the day was just getting better and better with each passing moment…
someone had captured the moment that we had so much wanted to have…

they eventually walked back to their car and we have not heard from them yet… we are still hoping that we do…

as the night progressed and the sun started to set, we could see lightening storms…

the scenery was constantly changing colors and you could see the lightening and rain clouds off in the distance…

then, night began to fall and it was getting chilly and we had forgotten to grab our drink from the car…
so, we decided to walk back down and get our drink…

the sun had set and it was time for the sky to make beautiful light with all the stars…

i do not think that i have seen so many stars in all my life… you could look up and even see the milky way… it looked like a little grey streak that ran across the sky…
you could see our galaxy!!! talk about amazing… i am overwhelmed…

well, it was getting late and we were thirsty and our drinks had run dry… so, at around 9:30pm, we decided that we WILL be going here again and decided to head back to his parents place…
but (like i think everyone does), we had to grab a scoop of that sand… this is something that is prohibited, but you just have to do it…

and, as a last image for my post, here is me, standing on top of the dune that we spent all of our time and the place where that couple had taken our picture…

i still and do not see any reason why i might not think that this is “the most beautiful and peaceful place that i have ever been and think i will ever go…”

***
and again, be sure to read his blog post about the trip and see all the new pics…
i only wrote about our couple hours out at white sands..
he had been down at his parents place for a week already and i was there for almost a week as well…
***

amazing!!!
undescribable!!!
leaves you breathless!!!

well, i know that i am going to have to run out and get this as soon as it hits the stores on the 14th of september… this is my absolute favorite tv show in the world, and for those of you that know me, know that i do not watch tv, i watch movies instead…

we have the limited edition yearbook edition that we pre-odered and paid exuberant amounts for, but it was sooo worth it… i can not say enough how much i LOVE this show and will try to get as much stuff for it that i can…

i am wanting to try and finda poster for the show but have not come across one yet but i am always looking…

so, check it out if you get the chance…

this is just a quick post and i have plans on making a huge post in the next day or two about amazing and beautiful white sands… 🙂

well, i have more to post about later but this is something that is bothering me right now…

we just got back into town yesterday from a long extended stay down at his parents place…

i go down to my car this morning to get our daily starbucks, that we have been missing so much, and the calendar that has been in my car is missing… i am so frustrated… it is strange but i can not think of anything but that i happened to park in the same place that i had when my car was moved out of its parking space a couple months ago…
i love the apartments here but i hate almost everything else… the maintenance is the worst that i have ever seen and the office management is not the best either… i like the lower management people (leasing agents), but the upper management sucks…
we have lived here since march of this year and have had things that were broken when we moved in and they have not gotten fixed yet…
it just seems like a steady stream of things that are making me more and more frustrated with living here each time i come home… i love the apartment itself and the grounds but the other things that we have to live with are insane and i will not be renewing the lease… i wish things were better and thinking that if they had a total overhawl on management things would be better but i have read online that this is just the way things happen around here… i just do not understand it and for $800 a month i think they could do something about this, but they do not and all 3 properties owned by this company are the same…

i don’t know…
grrrrr… just when i thought we had found our perfect place to live, we have yet another thing that makes us question it…

well, tonight is the first night back to work and i am glad to be back but at the same time it was nice to be away and not have to think about the stupid high school mentality that comes with working in food servce… we will see how things go tonight… one thing is nice that i am working in the bar and not the cafe… 🙂 always good money and even off 2 hours early since it is sunday…

well we just got back from visiting his parents again last night… i love his parents, they are the coolest people i know and can not say enough good things about them… i am glad to know them as people…

while we were there, he went with his dad to el paso for a doctors visit (that took all day, poor guys), but i was lucky enough to spend all day with his mom… they got to the va at 2pm and did not get in to see the doctor until 7:30pm and then it was only a 20 minute visit… geesh… but, mom and i sat around and talked about all kinds of things and i got to play with some of her favorite gba games…
she loves her games and has multiple gbasp’s and 2 gamecubes… just as we were saying that we were going to b heading home she mentioned that she loved the way we played final fantasy tactics advance on her cube and player and that we were having so much fun with it that she wanted us to have that much fun all the time…
so, they handed us a handful of money and said that she only wanted the final fantasy tactics advance game and wanted us to use the rest of the money to get us a gamecube and player for ourselves… we had not mentioned to her once that we wanted them to buy us one and so we felt pretty bad when she said that they wanted us to have one… we obliged… we had been wanting one for awhile but just like us, we want to find our price before buying anything and this has saved us grief of trying to search and search and never get anything in the end and tons of frustration in the process…

so, since we have a new gamecube we are trying out all the games that we have oohed and ahhed over the past year… we are not planning on picking up our ABSOLUTE favorite game in the world (PSO – Phantasy Star Online), since the last time we did that we did not do anything but play the game for months and months…

i am keeping this as short and sweet as possible since i am having to leave for work here in a couple minutes… but, when i get home tonight we are going to be trying out final fantasy crystal chronicles…

what do you have to do to get a good job in this city?

i have sent my resume to a ton of places since we have moved here and still have not found a decent paying job yet…

what is even more frustrating than looking for a job here is that the people that you interview with do not even give you a call back… i have made the efforts to call multiple places at least once a week to check on the status on my interviews and they give me the same answers over and over again… “we are not sure how things are at this time, please call us again some time next week”… what the hell? i have been calling you next week and the week after that and the one afer that and i still can not get a straight answer… i have never had this much trouble in my entire time of looking for a job as i have been here… this is insane…

i had an interview with one place 3 weeks ago and they keep telling me to call back next week… i am tired of calling and never getting any new information… what is the deal here? do you have to wait 6 months before you ever hear something?

rant rant rant…
grrrrrr….

well, i am going to have to spend yet another day off running around to all the businesses in this city with my resume in hand again this month… i have been doing this at least once a month the last 3 and seems like it has not done me much good but i am trying to be persistent but it has yet to pay off… i just do not get it and am getting very peeved in the process…

well, i think i have done more than enough ranting and raving today and it is almost time for me to go to my dead-end job that i have now anyway…

so, i am off…

well yesterday was a weird one… to start things off i looked outside and saw that my car had been moved from its original parking space to almost the middle of the street… some really weird things have been happening lately and this is just another one… i have a convertible and it is really hard to find parking where we live but i just do not understand WHY someone would decide to move SOMEONE elses car just to take their parking place… this realy freaks me out and pisses me off at the same time…
our downstairs neighbor said he had seen it that way at 5:30am that morning and thought that we had just broken down or something and did not move it to a spot…
i talked to the office people and they said that we were alright but still did not say anything more about picking up security or anything like that… this does not make me feel any more secure about the place where we live…

then, after that we decided that we were going to take the day and head out to santa fe since it is only about an hour from here… well, along the way i felt like my left front tire was making some weird sounds and thought that it would be best to pull over at the next stop and check it out… boy, was i sure glad that i did because the threads on the tire were showing and if we would have continued on much further we would have had a blow out… so, we headed on up the street to a small tire place and had a new tire put on it and finally off at almost 3pm to our original destination… (we had started our day a little before noon and were not getting where we needed to go until much later)… when we finally got to santa fe we were expecting a BIG city… we were surprised… it was like a small town with one mall and not much else… i guess if you are into the southwest thing then this is a good place to go but since we are not then it was not much to see and do not expect to be going there again any time soon… we did drive around a bit but nothing really looked all that enticing… so, we started heading out of town and decided we would hit the outlet mall (small also) and the regular mall… i have to say that the best thing in the entire town was the outlet mall with about 15 shops… we picked up a couple of things from the fragrance outlet, wilsons leather and one little thing for our bar…
so, the mall was just like any other and dead just like all the malls seem to be in this state… we have not been to a busy one yet… wonder how people make it in this place…

we, were ready to go home and wanted our frapps for the drive… they do not even have a barnes and noble in that town, and the freaking starbucks closes at 9pm… what the hell?
so, we had a really bad coffee drink from borders and headed on home…

well, we got home and played some fur fighters fluff match (one of the great 2 player games)… one of these days i will have to post about some of the great 2 player games for couples… we have had a database that we started and i am not sure if we have it online somewhere or not… games made for couples is hard to find… they need to make more games made for 2 people… but, that is another post altogether…

so, i am going to post this and then post again about another thing that has been bothering me lately…
so, i am done with this one for now and will not be going to santa fe again… what a boring place…